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The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
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The world tolerates conceit from those who are successful, but not from anybody else.
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Whatever you do, do it to the purpose; do it thoroughly, not superficially. Go to the bottom of things. Any thing half done, or half known, is in my mind, neither done nor known at all. Nay, worse, for it often misleads.
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action.
The pain of making the necessary sacrifices always hurts more than you think it's going to. I know. It sucks. That being said, doing something seriously creative is one of the most amazing experiences one can have, in this or any other lifetime. If you can pull it off, it's worth it. Even if you don't end up pulling it off, you'll learn many incredible, magical, valuable things. It's NOT doing it when you know you full well you HAD the opportunity- that hurts FAR more than any failure.
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When you want to believe in something, you also have to believe in everything that's necessary for believing in it.
The Past is to be respected and acknoledged, but not to be worshiped. It is our future in which we will find our greatness.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?
The two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change.
You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious, nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave.
Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.
We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.
Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches per sec.
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.
We cannot destroy kindred: Our chains stretch a little sometimes, but they never break.
He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little.
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind, but how to get old ones out. Every mind is a building filled with archaic furniture. Clean out a corner of your mind and creativity will instantly fill it.
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
How to Raise your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children
I daresay one profits more by the mistakes one makes off one's own bat than by doing the right thing on somebody's else advice.
Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
'Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.' Under the influence of this pestilent morality, I am forever letting tomorrow's work slop backwards into today's, and doing painfully and nervously today what I could do quickly and easily tomorrow.
The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.
Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
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Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can't last.
Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly.
I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches.
It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.
We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.
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We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can.
Be careful that victories do not carry the seed of future defeats.
Nobody is ever met at the airport when beginning a new adventure. It's just not done.
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.
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Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it.
I don't believe in intuition. When you get sudden flashes of perception, it is just the brain working faster than usual. But you've been getting ready to know it for a long time, and when it comes, you feel you've known it always.
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The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
I love my past. I love my present. I'm not ashamed of what I've had, and I'm not sad because I have it no longer.
Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work.
Wit makes its own welcome, and levels all distinctions. No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit.
It is easier to exclude harmful passions than to rule them, and to deny them admittance than to control them after they have been admitted.
Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had 0 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.
I don't like composers who think. It gets in the way of their plagiarism.
Depend not on another, but lean instead on thyself...True happiness is born of self-reliance.
If you would be known, and not know, vegetate in a village; If you would know, and not be known, live in a city.
The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.
We bear the world and we make it... There was never a great man who had not a great mother - it is hardly an exaggeration.
Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.
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Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
This world is given as the prize for the men in earnest; and that which is true of this world, is truer still of the world to come.
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
Temptation rarely comes in working hours. It is in their leisure time that men are made or marred.
Because we don't think about future generations, they will never forget us.
Good habits, which bring our lower passions and appetites under automatic control, leave our natures free to explore the larger experiences of life.
Every moment of one's existence one is growing into more or retreating into less.
All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and frequently for the worse.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?
He attacked everything in life with a mix of extrordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.
One thing I've learned in all these years is not to make love when you really don't feel it; there's probably nothing worse you can do to yourself than that.
Like anyone else, there are days I feel beautiful and days I don't, and when I don't, I do something about it.
Everybody knows if you are too careful you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something.
Don't ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up.
Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it.
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